As I've been out here, I've constantly been faced with the temptation toward aimlessness and cop-out. Not only is this a tendency among many homeless who have grown apathetic toward life, but this has been a tendency in my own life as I get distracted and try so many different things that I enjoy. I call it balance when it's actually just selfish distraction. So many homeless downtown here will just go and sip coffee and watch tv for hours at McDonald's and that would be so easy for me to do! Many come to the public library and just read books all day long. That would be so easy for me to do because I love reading and yet God keeps showing me that I have a purpose out here. It's not aimless. I'm embarking on a ministry and vocation and I represent God, Himself. I must be in a constant state of abiding in Christ and receiving His love that I can truly love those which I encounter out here on the streets. As far as I'm concerned, I have no room to do anything which does not pertain toward the purpose of taking care of myself and walking in the vocation God has set before me. Pray for me as I set this challenge before myself and die daily to my flesh nature.
I've also been tempted to think that a good vocation means to make good money and provide for yourself, but this is not true. God is my provider. My vocation is that which God has created for me to focus on and put myself to. It's ok to enjoy many different types of activities, but sooner or later, I'm going to have to point out who my God is and set my hand to the plow without turning back or turning toward other things. I need to be about the business of building relationships, loving people on these streets, praying for these people and abiding in Christ so that I can receive prophetic direction from His Spirit in how to really meet these people's needs deep down. Even results are not my responsibility. My responsibility is to obey and leave the results to the working of God's Spirit among these people.