Tuesday, April 8, 2008

A Look Inside My Journal

1 April 2008

"I can see the fingerprints of God when I look at you." This is the song which played in my head as I stood outside the Catholic Action Center. I was looking at all the different kinds of people out there; problem was, I didn't act or treat these people as if they had the fingerprints of God all over them. Jesus said in Matthew 25 that whatever one's done for the least of these, he's done to Jesus. I did not see Jesus in these people, but I want to. A friend sent me an email much to the same effect-see Jesus in these people. Often, I don't even have anything to say. I'm trying to think about so many things at once-my relationship with God, quenching my flesh, ministering, serving, loving and seeing all people for what they are: people created in God's image. I've been reminded over and over of the need to stay humble and build relationships. I don't feel very confident. I need to stay prayed up.

2 April 2008

Well, a good friend came down to visit me today and we hung out for about 4 hours. I don't know if he actually wanted to hang out down here that long or not, but it meant a lot to me. We talked about a lot which clarified my thinking, so it was good to talk and get some of those ideas out. One thing which seemed to click in my spirit was the idea of imparting higher vision. It sounds like a good thought (taking into account the aimlessness I've seen among those on the streets), but I don't want to just start another program. I want some real breakthrough which is why praying and fasting are so necessary and I haven't done enough of them. However, get my thinking right, Lord. It's really about loving You and not just doing stuff.

Another friend recommended researching the homeless population in Lex in a journey to help meet some of their practical needs which is a great practical suggestion and yet I'm not sure if it's the route I want to take. I want to act out on vision which You give and not just other men. Would it help me in my journey to accomplish Your goals in Your way? We're all called to meet specific and practical needs of people, and yet how far am I called to go with that? What's my niche of influence in this time?

I was encouraged by a lay preacher at the Rescue Mission yesterday who told me to stay prayed up. It struck a chord as have the words of many others who've told me to be sure and listen to God. If I'm to be Your friend and be entrusted with Your gospel, I'm to show myself trustworthy by setting myself totally apart for the gospel. I heard something really good today at the Lighthouse too. People talk a lot about how hard it is to do the right thing, but it's only hard when we're not submitted to the Holy Spirit. If we'd submit first instead of trying to do things on our own, the devil would flee when we resist him. If we'd submit and do just the next right thing, it wouldn't seem overwhelming. God's law is not a burden! It's our old habits which conflict with it that makes it seem overwhelming.

3 April 2008

Well, thank you Jesus for providing the couch, shower, supper, garbage bag for my stuff, good coffee and a traveling tumbler last night. Those guys were very kind.

So, I was thinking about the guys I've met and why they're in the situations they're in. A few of the factors I've seen include especially drugs/alcohol, attitude/authority issues, mental issues, and probably some others too. But, I need to see Jesus in all the people I meet; they're not test subjects.

4 April 2008

Last night, a buddy and I talked until about 10:30. Thought I think he was sincere it was surprising, because as he talked about the problems of the world he began to cry. He wanted me to look in his eyes so I'd know he was serious and he was trying to justify himself to me too. I think he's under some conviction. We had some prayer time where I think some truth came out. I hope he got it.

I was able to help with a Bible study today at the Lighthouse-it was a good group of people and I really enjoyed going through 1 Samuel with everyone.

5 April 2008

This is a battle-guerilla warfare. I don't want this, but if my God is for me, who can be against me? I know how to have self-control and win this battle. Before, I was being lazy, but I can make it and become strong if I'll apply myself. Scripture calls me to love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. No wonder God was not meeting me before-I wasn't seeking Him with my whole heart, but only half-heartedly. The joy of the Lord over me is my strength. We must fight for each other because our victory is sure. In the context of abundant life, it's ours if we'll wholeheartedly chase after God according to His word. We need to stay violent against our flesh, even when it's hard. We need the fear of Yahweh-worship, awe, understanding and knowledge of who He is. We must submit ourselves totally to Him; instead of looking at our sin, we must passionately pursue God's will and obey.

All of these may have been hard words at one time, but they're not anymore. Victory is at hand for all who believe. When hope, love, and delight in Yahweh and His word come to the helm, the promises don't seem so intimidating.

Today, a youth group from South Carolina led the worship at Lighthouse Ministries and served the food. It was awesome-You certainly dealt with me and humbled me all over again And over the course of the pastor's sermon I had a sort of vision and message come to me. I saw myself preaching a sermon entitled "I'm the One." After the sermon I went and sat among the crowd and proclaimed, "I've not judged you today. The Word of God has preached and judged between us and our motives. Don't point to your neighbor. Is your neighbor responsible for crucifying Jesus? No! I'm the one! My addictions to sex, food, and caffeine have exposed me. So who's going to follow me to the altar?" Good stuff.

You're good, oh God. I love watching Your "fireworks" (See previous blog entry from 26 February 2008, "Firework-watching!") with You as that Newsboys' song, "Wonder" plays through my head. You are showing me to just watch for little displays of Your wonders-places, people, creation-all the cosmos displays Your handiwork. Laws, revelations and yes, wonders will come to light as I wait for You. As my journey continues, I see You continually redefining ME. I give You my life and You give supreme liberation back. You're marrying the fireworks-watching activity with seeing Your handiwork and Jesus in people. One of Your "fireworks"/wonders is Reggie. Your wonders and handiwork abound in the people on the streets.

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