Monday, November 2, 2009
Am I pretending? Have I lost all vision, or is this just a season where some dryness has hit? Have I walked outside of your word, oh God. How I ask for you to direct me? Am I just pretending, or am I missing it? Where do I go from here? You know my heart to obey You! It's there, I know it is! Do not allow me to miss it. "The call is to die." You have told me this repeatedly. "Be available and listen." I heard this last week. I have experienced much contentment, even in the current season, but today feels aimless and like a sick cycle carousel going nowhere. I feel like I'm going through the motions. I want to go somewhere with You. I know that vision resides somewhere in me. I believe it's in my heart of hearts, where the Spirit of God resides through faith. But, in my mind there seems to be no clarity beyond general "pie in the sky" dreams. I do not mean "pie in the sky" as in "impossible," and lofty, but just that they do not have any practicality attached to them yet. I'm still looking for your prophetic promises to me.