God, what will it take to reinforce the truth to me? I keep trying to be a doer instead of getting the foundations correct. The foundation is love. The foundation is rest and believing Jesus. The foundation is faith which is received. If I could just KNOW that and stop succumbing to the temptation to DO because “it’s expected of me” or something. I don’t live out of obligation. On the contrary, I want to have sweet expectation of what YOU will do, and not me. In the moment that I do something, I’ll know and it will flow freely as a consequence and result of my faith. I want to get this right Jesus, and not waste my life. You go above and beyond towards me, and I can best go above and beyond towards you by RECEIVING Your good gifts. You’ve told me over and over. I feel spiritually right now like I did yesterday with the furniture I scratched up when I delivered it. I’m told not to be too hard on myself, but I think, “How else will I learn?” It was a stupid mistake that I knew better about, and the same here.
Where does the power of consistency come from? I do not seem to walk in it very well at all.