Sometimes, especially recently, I get tied up in analyzing everything including God. I start to wrestle with and grapple with all the idiosyncracies and inconsistencies of life and become overwhelmed by them. I start to get angry at everyone, including God and especially at myself for being so overly analytical. I get so angery at God for being so big and inconcievable that He does not even seem to make sense. Nothing in the world makes sense. It's in these moments that I begin to see that I'm thinking of life the wrong way.
I started to learn long ago that I'm not supposed to go through life analyzing and figuring everything out. I'm supposed to enjoy my life and enjoy my God intimately. God relates to us in relationship. "When I applied my heart to know wisdom, and to see the business that is done on earth, how neither day nor night do one's eyes see sleep, then I saw all the work of God, that man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun. However much man may toil in seeking, he will not find it out. Even though a wise man claims to know, he cannot find it out" (Eccl. 8:16-17).
Another, but related subject is thus: many of us do think we can figure it out. In fact, I think that all of us are fulled by the delusion that we can figure life and God out. I know that I have repeatedly done that. Man-made religions are our answer to a mysterious God whom we cannot contain, but desperately want to contain. When we believe that, we give ourselves to the ultimate self-righteousness, where we believe that we can just practice "faith" our way or do life our way and get somewhere. As an example, I questioned a coworker about his practice of faith today and he told me what he has always told me: "Nathan, everyone has their own way of practicing faith." And I told him the same thing that I always tell him, "_______, You are right that everyone practices their own way to faith and that is the problem because all of our ways will lead us to eternal separation from God. Nathan's way is going to lead him to hell, just like yours will lead you to hell." And I again pointed to the one way God provided: His own way. Not Nathan's way, not Billy Graham's way, not the evangelical Christian's way, but only one way and that way is Jesus. My opinions about Jesus will not get me to heaven, my practice of religion will not get me to heaven, but only a living and vibrant faith in a Man named Jesus. Jesus is the only Man in history to do it right. Only He can claim true "self-righteousness." And he said that to be in eternal life is to know Him.
This almost brings me full-circle to what I journaled about above, because analyzing God will get me nowhere. I need to return to being in love again. I need to return to having intimate fellowship and transaction with Jesus. He is the only way. As far as how you practice your life, faith and religion, that amounts to a hill of beans to me. But to for me, TO LIVE IS CHRIST. Are you intimate with Jesus, the One in whom God became a person and wore our flesh?